Memorable Memorial

On the day of my dad’s memorial service in July 2010, my mom went out to pick berries for breakfast. The house was full of family who had come to honor Milt’s life. While out in the garden, mom slipped, fell and broke her hip. Were it not for the attentive ears of a neighbor, her screams might have gone unheard for quite some time. The rest of the day and those that followed are now a blurred memory as chaos ensued and plans were scrambled. Fast forward fifteen years and six months, and family once again gathered from points near and far to honor Shirley’s memory and legacy. Fittingly perhaps, the service occurred on what would have been mom’s 90th birthday, 1/30/26 and turned out to be a true celebration of her remarkable life and faith. Pastor Laurie and ElRay wove together a beautiful time of reflection and worship that featured soloist David Gustafson and cellist Austin Bennett. I hope mom had a front row seat in a heavenly pew for the glorious music! A number of people made the comment that it was really meaningful to see so much family participation. I was honored to give a Greeting & Remembrace:

Your presence here today to remember the life of Shirley Ilene Watson is deeply appreciated.  Throughout her life, my mom was committed to living out her faith through the local church that she attended.  Central Lutheran was one of these congregations, and it provided many avenues for her service:  leading Bible studies, quilting, mission trips, adult education, providing others with rides to worship services, visitation, Stephen’s Ministry and faithful financial support.  When she was no longer able to attend in person, Shirley always tuned into the live stream of the 8:30 a.m. service.  I was grateful that her ancient Apple I-Mac hung on to make that possible!

I know my mom was grateful for the love, support and encouragement that she received from all of you during the years when it was not possible for her to attend in person.  In your expressions of love, Shirley felt the presence of her Savior and never lost sight of her heavenly home.

My mom’s character was forged in depravations of the Great Recession and in the Calvinist infused, reformed theology of her Dutch ancestors.  Both a fiscal and theological conservative, my sister and I were raised according to the words found in Matthew chapter 22, verse 21:  “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”      Obedience to authority, both worldly and heavenly, was paramount.  This amounted to what I always considered a rather strict upbringing—a bit heavy on the rules and dogma for my taste;  however, and this took most of my adult years to understand, I came to see that the strictures against which I rebelled were expressions of my mom’s fierce and abiding love—an enduring love mixed with continuous prayer for my well-being and that of my family. 

In my growing up years, I argued a lot with my mom and God knows I tested her patience.  But again, aging brings perspective, and I better understand the verse in Proverbs, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”   I like to think that both my mom and I grew and improved through countless meaningful interactions and challenging conservations that ultimately resulted in a deep and positive relationship.

In preparation for the arrival of the family members who are here with us today, Janet and I have been going through dozens of photo albums in which Milt and Shirley meticulously documented their lives and the experiences of our family.  All the family members here today get to take home a Ziploc storage bag stuffed with a selection of the myriad photos we had to choose from.  The process was a fun trip down memory lane but mainly I was struck by how present and intentional my parents were in raising Tammi and me. 

Mom always said we were blessed to be a blessing, and I hope that is true; however, I know for certain that she was a constant, ubiquitous blessing in our lives, and we will remember the countless moments of loving care and support that she provided.  She truly took delight in her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren!

Shirley’s final weeks and days were spent in the loving embrace of family.  Every member of her immediate family was able to come, be present with her, expressing their love and saying their goodbyes.  Setting aside busy lives and hectic schedules, our daughters Bethany and Sammi, together with their children Alex, Simon and Parker and their spouses Nathan and Jacob drove down from Puyallup, WA.  My sister Tammi flew in from La Verne, CA; Tammi’s daughter, my niece, Eilene came from PA; our brother Chok Pin jumped on a plane from Melbourne, Australia to attend Shirley’s bedside.  Typical of my mom’s determination and generosity, she rose above her fatigue and frailty to greet and take joy in the presence of her loved ones.

One highlight of these visits occurred when my mom’s younger sister, Edna Faye, (Aunty Faye to me), arrived at the Eugene airport after completing the long trek from her home in Kielaspuglonane, County Clare, Ireland.  Shirley knew Edna was coming, but I do not think the reality sunk in until their reunion at Waterford Grand.  And what a joyful reunion it was!  Edna spent every day of the following week with Shirley parsing memories of their shared and separate lives, recounting life on the farm, growing up in Lynden, WA surrounded by their Dutch relatives, and experiences with their deeply loved life partners, Knute and Milt.  Tammi and I are very grateful that Edna will share some of those memories with you today.

Late Saturday afternoon, following my aunt’s departure earlier in the week, Janet and I went into my mom’s apartment and were met by one of the hospice nurses.  She let us know that Shirley had passed away around 3:00 p.m.  Mom lay on the bed in peaceful repose.  I laid my hand on her cool forehead and said goodbye to the amazing woman that was the last of our parents and our children’s grandparents to depart their earthside journey.  Mom had talked frequently about wanting to be with my dad, so my lasting image is their heaven-side embrace and the beginning of an eternal dance.  Rest in peace mom.  You will remain in our hearts forever, and we will look forward to seeing you again.